Grandpa Hates the Bird Series
GRANDPA HATES THE BIRD: Six Short Stories
“Alas, it is true. Grandpa hates me. He has always hated me, even before I used his ear as a swing toy (his lobes are so long and flappy!). I can’t imagine why. I assume Grandpa hates me simply because I am the bird – and he is not.”
Everybody loves Bird. Joseph and Maya, Mother and Father, Humphrey the dog, Slick the snake. Everyone except Grandpa, who will stop at nothing to set Bird free. Forever.
How does the battle begin when Bird and Grandpa are alone together for a whole week?
See classroom chaos in Bring Your Pet to School Day!
Exactly what are they hunting at the Aw Shoot archery range?
Fasten your feathers and warm up your wings—here are six collected short stories in the Grandpa Hates the Bird series!
GRANDPA HATES THE BIRD: Not That Sick
“What do you think, Bird? Should we play Killigan’s Island with Grandpa?” Maya asked.
I beat my wings as hard as I could to demonstrate my wish to flee. I flipped onto my back and stuck my legs in the air to simulate death. I did a Yak Yak Neck and threw up some breakfast to show the extent of my fear.
It must have been the fever or the purple medicine or the wads of tissue stuffed up Maya’s nose like walrus tusks (she kept them wedged there to absorb the flow), because Maya watched all my flappings and floppings and said, ‘Look, Grandpa! Bird’s really excited. Let’s play Killigan’s Island!’”
It’s all fun and games when Maya stays home sick—but not that sick—from school. She and Bird are having a blast…until Grandpa suggests a game of his own.
Which is stickier: honey or orange juice?
Can Bird resist the cheese crumb in Grandpa’s mustache?
What do dirt, tarantulas, purple Sharpie pens and shredded newspaper have in common?
Join Bird and Maya for a day of fun, frolic and, yes, fear in the side-splitting 7th short story in the Grandpa Hates the Bird series!
GRANDPA HATES THE BIRD: The Battle Begins
“I am no fool. I knew that if I were wanted to make it to the end of the week alive, I would have to avoid upsetting Grandpa as much as possible. No singing, no playful nips, no jaunty bell.” Bird and Grandpa stay home in Massachusetts while Mother, Father, Joseph and Maya head south for a winter holiday. When Grandpa determines to set tropical Bird free in freezing February, Bird must use every bit of bird brain power to outsmart him.
Will Bird become a parrot popsicle?
What’s in the creepy second bedroom where no one ever goes?
Do Grandpa and Bird play Dig a Hole to China and Send Birdie on a Trip?
In the spirit of Tom and Jerry, Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd, and Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote, here come Bird and Grandpa in the hilarious first short story in the Grandpa Hates the Bird series!